"gramer"

10.16.2010

Oh my! The last few days have been absolutely CRAZY.

I left Sarasota at 3:30 AM on Thursday so I could make it to VA Beach in time for my host brother, Walter’s middle school soccer game. Host dad, Mark called when I was about 2 hrs away to tell me it was cancelled due to rain. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? It was ok, because it was also Walter’s birthday so I got to go along to the birthday dinner. The next day, Friday was Mark’s birthday. Funny how my calendar just worked out perfectly.

My transition out of Florida and into this next season of my life was hard as expected, but on the other hand it was time. The renters in my condo were coming back, the wedding in Pennsylvania, my need for something different. It’s time for me to start earning some money… I don’t need much, but I do have money obligations thanks to my 4 joyous years of college.

I’m in Virginia now visiting with my friends here. The weather has been beautiful- I thought I was going to freeze to death because I was getting used to the 90 degree weather, but I haven’t (yet)!

I’m heading up to Pennsylvania on Friday for a 2 week visit. Grandma K is expecting her share of me- I can only give her 2 weeks, not 2 months. When you move to the beach, gma I’ll stay longer ; )

10.12.2010

Today was a little better. She was (mostly) back to her normal, cheerful, positive self. I took her for a little walk to get her moving. Any task, big or small takes about 5 times longer than it should with her. We walked down the hall way, which would take you or I approximately 7.8 seconds. It took us today almost 15 min (I guess that’s a little more than 5 times…) I have no problem walking slowly with her, BUT I know the busy nurses aren’t quite as thrilled… There’s so much going on- residents setting off alarms, yelling, smelling up the place… Gma sometimes gets forgotten, i’m sure. She doesn’t make much commotion so although they say they take her to the bathroom every 2 hrs i’m not so sure I believe that. I’ve been there for time segments longer than 2 hrs and no one has come to take gma to the bathroom. Sometimes I do feel like I am a hinderance though… She does get overlooked when I am there because they figure I can do it. I honestly do believe that’s true all the time though.

She did mention again that she was worried and wondering where everyone was. I explained to her again the situation. She asked me how my school work was going, I told her I graduated in May 2009 and she gasped. “Oh! How could that be!?” I’m saying the same thing grandma! 

Everything is organized and packed- now I just have to vacuum my car and load it up. 

SAD to leave, but looking forward to the coming weeks… EXCITEMENT ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY!!! I’m literally going across the country- I will be in San Diego with Hannah at the Surf Cup (soccer tournament) for thanksgiving. 

10.11.2010

I walked into gma’s room to find her lying in bed. She was staring at the ceiling- a little odd… Her eyes are usually closed. I said “GRANDMA!! HI!!!!! HOW ARE YOU!????” Very perturbed she answered, “Where is my family? No one has come to see me.” She was not happy. I told her everyone would love to be with her, but everyone also has a job, kids, they live in different states. “I just don’t understand why no one has come to see me.” “Hey!” I said, “What am I!? Chop liver?” “No, no. I’m very thankful for you and Peter.”

I walked her outside. She was off balance, but was pretty agile moving through the maze of wheelchairs.

We sat outside and Holly read us nursery rhymes. It was actually really fun! All the residents like activities that remind them if their younger years. Holly would read a few words and let everyone finish the sentence.

Eventually Deloris came and then Peter. He asked how she was doing I said she was a little perturbed, she said disappointed is a better word. I don’t know… She was borderline mad.

TEN! TEN! TEN!

WOW, this is my 70th post. It’s really hard for me to believe that i’ve blogged every day (except my bday). Ok, i’m done patting myself on the back.

Man, today was really discouraging. It’s extremely hard to know that I have to leave gma in the fragile state that she is in. I had some high hopes for the Pines, but I’ve been thoroughly let down. It’s hard to know if her decline has been accelerated because she is in there or if it’s just the natural course. The first month I was here, when she was living at home I was kind of surprised to see such a rapid decline. I thought for sure being a young, energetic kid I would bring some life back into the two of them, but um, i’m 23 now… Getting old, not so young and energetic anymore apparently. HA, jk!

She is getting good care at the Pines. I personally know many of the nurses that work there and it’s obvious that they love what they do. It’s actually amazing to watch them carry out their thankless tasks- I couldn’t do it! The thing is, she is not being forced (or encouraged to move around.) They wake her up, they take her to bfast, they take her to the TV lounge, they take her to lunch, THEY… She doesn’t do anything for herself. Many of the residents walk around (aimlessly) and chat with people; basically they’re not fully dependent on others. Grandma is hesitant to walk around even when I try to walk her. She’s perfectly content just sitting. (it’s kind of funny because I really don’t blame her for not remembering what she had for breakfast or not wanting to walk around- give me a few minutes and then i’ll be able to remember what I ate this morning and you can forget trying to talk me into taking a walk right now…) BUT she needs to be challenged. She can’t be sedentary because that is throwing her off… Of course she’s not hungry because her body doesn’t require much energy to function.

Today when I was there we walked from the TV lounge to the patio. It’s hard to explain just how poorly she walks- you have to see it for yourself. We chatted outside in the PERFECT weather until I had to leave (for my soccer game). She’s been slurring words and sometimes will try to repeat what I say in a question… Me: “Do you want cranberry or apple juice, grandma?” Her: “Do I want craakjkljf jujkjakdj? What?” It’s like she’s not processing what I’m saying. She has impeccable hearing, so that’s not it.

10.9.2010

Gma was alert today. She was sitting in the TV lounge when I got there. She had a big smile on her face when she saw me come in, which made me feel very loved. We chatted for a little then I suggested we go outside. She was hesitant to move, but I finally talked her into it. Standing is a struggle… I count to three and then lift (with a tiny bit of help from her) her out of the chair. She hasn’t fully figured out the walker. She sometimes forgets to hold one, or both of the handles. NOT GOOD. I took her to the bathroom at one point and after we had parked the walker outside it was just me to hold her up. I’m no weakling, but it was a challenge. Her balance is getting worse and worse everyday. After I held her up to wash her hands I let her walk over to the door to see how she could do and she looked like a drunken sailor (i’ve yet to see a drunken sailor, but I imagine his gait looks a lot like gmas). 

Vicki had P and I over for some Chicken and Dumplings. DELICIOUS!!!! Thanks Vicki for following through with your promise to make me my favorite meal : )

10.8.2010

As I was hoping and praying, today was a little better. When I got to her room her nurse was changing her pull up/pants. I left to talk to dad and when I got back she was awake in her chair talking with Rose and Van. Gma wasn’t saying much, but she was aware of what was going on around her. Van has Dementia/Alzheimer’s so he was confused, but gma was happy to have them. Rose asked gma if she knew how much she’s loved. It’s so true! So many people love gma, in fact I can’t think of anyone who couldn’t love her. She’s such a kind hearted, loving person.

I thought it would be a good idea to go for a walk since she was laid out all day yesterday. I stood her up and got her set up with her walker. I was mid turn (to get her hairbrush) and saw her starting to fall backward. Luckily I have super quick reflexes (playing tennis with those 90 yr olds has really helped… haha!) and she was standing right next to me and I was anticipating her being unsteady. I thought we’d be safe with the walker in front and me in back so we headed out the door. We got 3 steps out and I decided it was a bad idea so we turned around. It took several minutes to get back into the room and get settled, but when we did on of the nurses did an EKG on her- to check her HR. Not sure the results of it. Once again- I feel very overwhelmed… Everyone keeps saying, “Oh, it could be this…” “It’s definitely this…” “I’m sure it’s…” “Did you ask about this?” I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what questions to ask. I’m not getting any answers and it’s frustrating. 

P told me tonight that he asked her tonight about Rose and Van visiting. She said they didn’t come. Then he asked about my visit. She said I didn’t come either. I know she has no short term memory, but that kind of hurt. 

10.7.2010

I’m not exactly what to say about today… It was by far the worst day yet. 

P called me around 1:30 and said that he got 2 calls from the Pines saying that something was up with gma. So, I met him there shortly after he called. When I got there gma was laying in bed (normal), P was talking to the head nurse, Ann (normal), and then P and the nurse tried asking gma questions and she wasn’t responding (not normal). P asked if she could open her eyes. She couldn’t. I took off her shoes and her right leg/foot was very sensitive. The slightest touch was painful to her. P put on heavy socks, which brought more pain. She didn’t say anything, but she groaned and moved her leg away. 

Ann said sherbert that would be good for her so I fed it to her because she wasn’t moving, other than her mouth. She finished that and then had 2 little ice creams (chocolate and strawberry, if you were wondering). I asked her if there was anything better than ice cream in bed. No answer. I made up some other good combinations… pizza in NYC, fish at a restaurant on the water… (I came up with some other good ones). I don’t know if she appreciated it or not, but I talked anyway. I’m more of a listener so it’s always hard to come up with things to say especially when it’s basically just me having a conversation with myself. 

P and I came back around dinner time. She was still laying in bed not really responding. The nurses said: they had just given her Tylenol for her fever, her EKG tests came back normal, this may be a reaction of the flu shot she had a few days ago. 

I fed her soup and more ice cream. I asked her if she could open her eyes. She said they were opened… I didn’t see her eyes all day and she may have said less than 15 words all day.

I feel sad, overwhelmed, scared, and…

She needs some serious prayer. 

10.6.2010

Yesterday was a good day because gma wasn’t falling asleep on me. Today, she was sleepy again. I only got to spend an hour with her because P needed me to help pick up the car. I’m not going to get into that…

Gma was laying in her bed when I got there. I asked if she wanted to go see what kind of activities were going on, she said, “No! It’s my rest time.” So I sat and chatted (not with, but at her). She wasn’t awake for our whole “conversation,” but she did acknowledge I was talking every once in a while.

Still going strong through all these pictures… It’s great to remember life in the 80’s/90’s. I have laughed out loud a few times. 

10.5.2010

Today was a good day! I’m not quite sure what made it such a good day, but it was! Possibly the PERFECT weather? The fact that gma was awake and active all day? Both? Something else?

I biked to my work out this morning and had to wear a long sleeve shirt! It was chilly!!! Florida finally got the memo that it’s fall. 

Gma was napping in the tv lounge when I got there. She woke up when she heard the door and saw me walk in. She asked if my bike was ok. She said she was going to call dad (she meant P) so he could give me a hand, but she wasn’t able to. I told her I had my bike and it was in perfect condition. She was convinced it was my bike that she saw broken down. 

We walked to her room and saw a sign that said she was invited to go to a Mandolin Concert at 2. It was 2:10, but Holly said we should head over. It was AWESOME! Gma loved it and stayed away through it all!!! (very rare!). She couldn’t stop talking about it.

When we got back all of the functioning residents were outside with the plant lady making flower arrangements so we joined them. Gma enjoyed putting the flowers and herbs in the foam. I put it in her room when she was done.

P joined us after snack time- they brought out some brownies, shrimp and brie and crackers. Haha, odd pairing, but they made brownies without knowing the shrimp and cheese was coming. I hung out with them for a while, but had to leave after a bit…

P told me told me today that i’m needed for tennis tomorrow and Fri. That’s fine, not ideal, but fine. THEN he told me I have to help him after tennis tomorrow. He didn’t ask, he told. I told him that I was planning on going to my workout. He said that I should just skip it, what’s one day? I’m going to stop here because i’ll get really fired up if I keep going. I just had to say that I am frustrated and feeling slightly used. (so, the day started off great, but didn’t quite end the same way)